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Posted January 18, Reviewed Lont time relationship Ekua Hagan. Have you ever made silly mistakes that ruined great relationships? Below, I'd like to share 12 science-based tips to help you avoid disconnection and make your relationships flourish! Be honest. For that reason, be intentional and figure out the truth about your relationship. If you notice yourself flinching away from a certain aspect of reality, this is the time to double down your focus and really get at the truth. Avoid "failing at their mind. I know I've made this mistake, and it has cost me dearly in the past.
So how do we avoid it? Use Tell Culture. This makes you more vulnerable and authentic. Tell them information about yourself that you think they'd want to know. For example, if you want a hug, tell the other person that you'd enjoy a hug. Rather, you are simply responsible for telling them about your needs and desires.
They are then free to act as they choose, based on their own needs and desires. Lont time relationship communication barriers. For open and honest communication to work, you need to remove communication barriers. Figure out your individual communication preferences and then compromise on something that works well for both of you.
Practice emotional attunement. Notice whether the other person seems stressedfrazzled, sad, frustrated, confused, pleased, glad, joyful, etc. Pay attention to the tone of the voice, body languageand what is not being said, as well as the content of the words.
Such emotional attunement will level up your ability to understand the other person and respond in ways that lead to happy, long-lasting relationships. Check in on your relationships. This is a magic-bullet solution to so many relationship problems! Schedule systematic meetings to talk about the Lont time relationship of your relationship and what can be improved.
For example, my wife and I have a relationship check-in every two weeks. We first talk about what we appreciated most about each other during the last two weeks. Then, we discuss what can be improved in our relationship, and how to do so. Finally, we finish up with gratitude to each other for doing the relationship check-in and have some delicious chocolate to reward ourselves. This has done wonders for improving our relationship!
Trust others. All of these strategies will help you build up trust, which is key to having happy, lasting relationships. Always keep a personal evaluation of your relationship's level of trust in the back of your mind. How much do you trust the other person to act in ways that match your mental model of that person? How much do you trust that person to have your back? Exhibit vulnerability and opennessshare secrets, and be generous in your offers to compromise.
If the other person shows themselves trustworthy, then commit more to the relationship. If they do not, then re-evaluate your own level of commitment, as the relationship likely will not work in the long term. Respect boundaries and privacy. Technological developments make it so easy for us to track each other and to be in constant communication.
However, permitting each other to have privacy, as well as not pushing the other person to do things they'd prefer not to do, helps increase happiness in relationships, since it builds up mutual trust. Have healthy conflicts. Surprise—conflicts can be healthy in relationships!
If you go into a relationship expecting never to fight, then your first fight could very well lead to the end of the relationship. Instead, learn strategies for healthy conflict resolution, and talk about them with the other person beforehand. Also, when a conflict does arise, start by highlighting how much you care about the other person and the relationship. Talk about both the facts and how you feel about them. Be open to changing your mind if you discover you made the mistake, and apologize quickly and profusely. Avoid focusing on the past and instead orient toward better behavior in the future.
At the end of any conflict, focus on reconnecting and rebuilding emotional bonds strained by the conflict.
My wife and I have found these techniques to be so helpful in resolving tensions between us! Meet your own goals.
Remember that you are in the relationship for yourself, not the other person. So, meet your own goals first in any relationship. Be intentional and consider what you want from the relationship when you evaluate it in your own mind and heart. Play by the rules of Tell Culture: Be honest and open with the other person about your needs and desires, and encourage that person to be honest and open with you.
Otherwise, Lont time relationship both risk building up resentment and frustration, which decreases the possibility of a happy and long-lasting relationship. This means we must understand their perspective, thoughts, and feelings. Seek a mutually beneficial compromise on any areas of disagreement.
People and relationships change all the time. This is not something to mourn; it's just a fact of life, to be acknowledged and celebrated. Sometimes, a relationship needs to become more diverse for both people to remain happy. So, consider the possibilities of non-traditional relationships such as polyamory and others.
At other times, people who were once right for each other are no longer compatible. The key is to be intentional and pursue your own goals in any relationship you are in. Tsipursky, Gleb. Intentional Insights.
Columbus, OH. Gleb Tsipursky, Ph. He is in private practice. Gleb Tsipursky Ph. My wife and I when we met in in Miami, and, below, a similar, more recent photo. References Tsipursky, Gleb.
About the Author. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness. Family Life Child Development Parenting. View Help Index. Do I Need Help? Back Magazine. July Who Is the True You? Back Today.
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11 Things No One Tells You About Long-Term Relationships